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There truly were no stars
My sexy hockey pose was not enough to turn the tide
The Boys from “Class of 23”
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0-5-1
That
is our record after two years of competing in an Old Timers Hockey
Tournament.
We even changed our name from the Interac No Stars to the Scarboro Blue Hogs
and we only fooled ourselves.
Back in the early 90's I used to work for the Ontario Goverment as a
political assistant, at lunch I used to play hockey with a number of the
elected officials, what a great way to break up work day. We'd motor
over to the Varsity Arena on Bloor Street in Toronto and play our hearts out
for an hour. Then head back to work.
During this time I met a friendly gentleman named Ian (The Merkin Man), he told me that he had
ice booked on Sunday night in Forest Hill I was welcome to come out.
His hockey gathering was pretty much a Blood Bath! The object of the
game was to see who could cause the most injuries. People would be
thrown over the boards, through the glass, arms, legs and personalities would
be broken.
When someone was injured Ian's bench would cheer and in future games always
refer to the night of so and so's broken arm and they would celebrate the
anniversaries.
This is fun for about a few minutes. I liked the hockey side of it, but
the beatings and attacks were a bit much.
We did however come up with some good nicknames for the players.
There was:
Officer Bob, who patrolled the blueline.
Guido, a young man of chinese descent.
Lee Otus, Ian's nickname.
The bearded lady, a guy with long hair who was always screaming in a high
pitch, especially when you smashed him face first into the boards.
Soft hands, a kind of chubby red headed guy who would yell at everyone else
when they lost the puck, "You've got hands of concrete."
Eventually I got tired of being beaten once a week, and I mean beaten.
It was like a flashback to my elementary school yard.
So I quit playing on the Sunday night. A few years after that I moved
to New York city and tried my luck at Roller Hockey.
In January of 2003 I received an email from Bruce Anderson, would my friend
Jonathan (whom I met through Ian and now living in the Philly area too) and I
like to come to Montreal and play in an Old Timer's tournament.
We said yes, and spent the weekend of April 4th 2003 drinking, eating,
carousing and playing something that vaguely resembled hockey.
Our first game we were quickly up 5-0. Their goalie was horrible and
the collective age of the other team was around 50. Our average age was
just under 40. Then the old guys started setting picks and hammering us
and playing some of the best hockey I have ever seen. We never got
another shot and the game ended tied at 5.
The next game, we were thrashed, not sure of the score but it was mind boggling.
Our third and final game we played a comparable team and we kept it
close. They beat us 3-2 I think.
I scored our second goal and was awarded the player of the game t
shirt. Not because I was player of the game but because I scored our
last goal.
The weekend of April 2, 2004 we journied north again, Jonathan and I.
With high hopes. We were no longer the INterac Nostars, we were to be
known as the Scarboro Blue Hogs. Three games later we were actually
worse off than the year before.
0 and 3. Although I did manage another T shirt in game one for scoring the
last goal. I am now officially in the Blue Hogs record book as winning
two player of the game T shirts in a row. One for the last game of last
year and one for the first game of this year.
I could tell the other guys were jealous as I flaunted my new t-shirt.
Next Year I'm going for number 3!!!!
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